After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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