i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize