TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
