Don't make out with my wife yet
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
