No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
