what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
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