I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Randomize
