now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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