and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
honey bunches of taint.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
