yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
