Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
