I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Never underestimate the power of titties
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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