Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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