Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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