love makes seman taste better
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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