Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
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