You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
