Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
