I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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