ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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