Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
