He uses pillows to masturbate.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
