he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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