a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate