before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!