i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is