I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.