I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
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I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
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Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.