i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
You need Xanax blowdarts
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Randomize
