do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
There r osticjed everywhere
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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