Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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