i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
