Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
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