I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
