I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
All the doctor said was why
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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