I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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