swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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