isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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