Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
