I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
