i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
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told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
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I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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