They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
