idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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