There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
