I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
