Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
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