I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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