The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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