There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
