I only kidnapped one of them. chill
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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