well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
