if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Randomize
