Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
