I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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