this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
