sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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