I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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