My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
