I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
