she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
