saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
