i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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