doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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