apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
