apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
