I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
