I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
