I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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