So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
